WTF Happened in the Doctor Who finale? (Spoilers!)

This season's finale may have done what I thought was impossible, be worse than last season's finale (why the fuck are the UK newspapers praising it?). So this was really a three-part story where the ending totally destroys all the stakes across the story.

But lets start at the beginning with the "Face of the Raven". Maisie Williams is running a refugee shelter for aliens in the middle on London. She fakes a murder of one of her residents to justify sentencing a young guy to death (using a count-down tattoo) because she somehow knows he was vaguely involved in another Dr. Who escapade and has the Doctor's phone number. But for some reason she also wipes the guy's memory so he, Clara and the Doctor can spend time trying to figure out what is going on. Part way through investigating the crime to prove the guy is innocent so Maisie will remove the death count-down Clara decides to transfer the death sentence to herself because she thinks this will "give them more time" even though the count down timer doesn't change at all so really this does nothing at all. Ok Clara is pretty stupid so whatever. Eventually they figure it all out and Maisie reveals it was all just a trap for the Doctor - later revealed to be somehow orchestrated by the Gallifrey government to extract information from the Doctor. Maisie agrees to remove the death-count-down but can't because it has been transferred to Clara, because reasons.... So we get a long scene of Clara convincing the Doctor not to take revenge for her death because it's completely her own fault she is about to die (but he kind of does anyway). Eventually Clara dies pointlessly out of her own stupidity and everyone who hates her for being a rubbish character can celebrate.

The second episode begins with the Doctor re-materializing after being teleported by Maisie to what is eventually revealed to be his own confession dial. The Doctor runs away from a scary monster and reveals some prophecy about something called a Hybrid, child of two warrior races, that will stand in Gallifrey's ruins but by refusing to say more (it's later revealed he probably doesn't actually know any more) he gets himself stuck in a loop slowly digging through wall by punching it a few times each cycle to escape (despite there being a metal shovel, and numerous bone skulls which would probably be more effective). It is revealed the loop cycles several billion times but since the Doctor is reset after each cycle he actually only subjectively experiences the loop for a few days to a few months and can only infer from the stars (which are part of a simulated environment but for some reason are moving in real time?) that he has been stuck for billions of years. Oh and the Doctor misses Clara. It ends with the Doctor escaping the simulated reality and emerging in the middle of nowhere on Gallifrey.

The third episode is told as flashbacks while the Doctor tells the story to a character played by Jenna Coleman, who is later revealed is actually Clara, even-though at the end of the story he's supposed to have had all his memory of adventures with Clara erased (hence why he doesn't recognize that he is talking to Clara) so he shouldn't be able to remember this story at all... Anyway, the story starts with him pissed at the leaders of Gallifrey for imprisoning him in his confession dial (though later he is totally fine with Maisie William's part in that imprisonment). But he's in the middle of nowhere and goes home to what I think was his childhood house/barn (seen briefly in another episode) or maybe it's supposed to be the barn where he was going to let off the big bomb to destroy Gallifrey and the Daleks or maybe it's just supposed to be a random barn. However, even though it was the Gallifrey government's plan to use the confession dial to learn about the Hybrid they don't seem to have kept track of the dial's location and are surprised when the Cloisters go off (with the same noise used when the TARDIS exploded & destroyed the universe at the end of season 5) to signal that the Doctor has returned. The President of Gallifrey and some soldiers go to arrest/execute the Doctor but the soldiers consider the Doctor a war-hero, even-though he nearly destroyed all of Gallifrey then locked it in an alternate universe twice but its really been hiding at the end of the universe. Anyway the Doctor uses the loyalty of the soldiers to lead a military coup of the Gallifrey government (which presumably was elected at some point) and exiles the President ... somewhere. He then uses Gallifrey technology to rescue Clara moments before her death under the guise of getting information about the Hybrid from her. Next he murders the General who helped him with the coup after confirming he still had regenerations left as a distraction while he and Clara go hide in the Cloisters. The general was preventing them from doing so because this will cause cracks in the universe and cause the universe to be destroyed (a la season 5). In the Cloisters (a stone computer full of dead Time Lords and guarded by dead evil creatures) the Doctor reveals he's been there before and that is where he learnt about the Hybrid which lead him to steal a TARDIS and run away because he was scared. They repeat this adventure but not before the regenerated General tells Clara she has to go back to when she died or it will destroy the universe.

The Doctor and Clara run to the every end of the universe to ... something about creating a new timeline or break Clara's connection to the moment she died or whatever.. to "save Clara". This "saving Clara" doesn't work but they meet Maisie Williams who despite repeatedly forgetting who Clara was in past appearances and being less immortal than Jack Harkness is somehow the last living being in the universe (and still hasn't grown up) and knows everything about the Doctor and Clara and has been watching the stars burn out from underground in the Cloisters. She and the Doctor exchange accusations that each other is the Hybrid then she accuses the Doctor and Clara of together being the Hybrid because he is willing to destroy the universe to save Clara. The Doctor reveals he's going to Donna-Noble Clara (ie wipe her memories of him) and return her to Earth because ... he's gone too far and is risking destroying the universe to save her (which is all to do with his feelings for her not her feelings for him) or maybe it's to protect her from his enemies who would try use her knowledge of him (as he sort of says later). But wiping her memory won't stop the universe from being destroyed because she hasn't died when she was supposed to.

Clara eavesdrops on this part of the conversation and maybe somehow modifies the device he was going to use to do the mind-wipe to do the reverse (wipe the Doctor's memories of Clara). They agree to use the device with unknown consequences for some reason. It ends up wiping the Doctor's memories and Maisie & Clara drop him off in the middle of the desert in Nevada close-ish to where he dies in the "Impossible Astronaut" hence bringing us back to the cafe (which is the same one as in the "Impossible Astronaut" story line). But the Doctor still remembers all the adventures he had with Clara and the Doctor is now looking for her and his TARDIS (but somehow knows it has been moved from London despite still being in Nevada). Finally Clara leaves and reveals that the whole cafe was part of the camouflage of the second TARDIS the Doctor stole which is now crewed by Clara (now also sort of immortal) and Maisie. The two of them decide to fly off and have adventures leaving the Doctor with his old TARDIS to fly off looking for Clara. But really it doesn't matter because the whole universe should be ripping itself apart because Clara still hasn't died when she was supposed to.

So overall, Clara dies because she's stupid. She emotionally implores the Doctor to not take revenge but he does so anyway by staging a coup d'etat and exiling the Gallifrean President. The Doctor saves Clara despite knowing that saving her will cause the universe to be destroyed. The Doctor wipes his own memory of her because he is causing the whole universe to be destroyed to save Clara. But the memory wipe is pointless because he still remembers enough to be trying to find Clara. And Maisie and Clara run-off together in a TARDIS, which makes Clara and the Doctor separating pointless because the universe is still going to be destroyed because Clara still isn't dying when she is supposed to. So basically all of them are terrible people and all the sad emotional parts are completely pointless...